Neither Fish Nor Fowl: The Expat's Lament

Oh god! What am I doing here!?
Gazing sensibly right, I have stepped out
in front of so many oncoming vehicles that the streets and highways of
northwest of England are clogged with cars whose drivers have had to
pull off the road they were laughing so hard at the amazingly freakish
faces and acrobatic leaps that I have performed as their bumpers
grazed my patellas.

Emergency workers are finding them in their cars,
draped over their dashboards, weeping with laughter and doing the
little whoop I make as I leap over their hood ornaments. It's humiliating.

Oh god too. Here was my worst day: March 7. First, I got
yelled at by a street musician. A flautist! and then I was asked to never
come back to a particular on-line Liverpool chat room because they
thought I talked so much and so erratically that I was spam.

This is not my pond.

But it will be. I'm off now to Hightown where there is a train
station, beautiful dunes, a submerged and ancient forest, old
asparagus field ....Gee it has suddenly begun to gush rain from all
directions...weirdly, the sky is blue......it is quite a nautical
town. I guess I'll wear a hat.